As I’ve been getting acquainted with various aspects of today’s prayer movement, I’ve grown to appreciate a greater emphasis on Scripture. I was familiar with taking a Psalm and making it a personal prayer, but this goes beyond that.
This morning I stood in Resurrection Sanctuary and prayed through Jesus’ high priestly prayer in John 17 and through about half of Philippians. I prayed that the Holy Spirit would illuminate what I was reading, that He would apply those truths in my life. I was open with God about my own struggles. I shared my thoughts about what I was reading. I prayed that I would be obedient to what I was reading, and I prayed for my family and for the Church, getting very specific to what I was reading.
Years ago, during a time of discouragement and wanting to do my own thing, I told my parents, “I’m not cut out for Christianity!” Today, I was reminded of that. It’s still true. After all, I’m prone to wander. I fall so very, very short. I have a long ways to go before I can confidently and truthfully say, as in Philippians 1:21, “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
Christianity without the constant, indwelling presence of Jesus will never work for me. I don’t have what it takes to be a good Christian, or to follow the teachings of Jesus on my own. The only way I could do that is to twist the Bible all around, and ignore the parts I don’t like. In other words, I might as well make up my own religion.
So I stood in this little old church this morning, and once again pleaded with God for mercy and grace. I want to know Him more…want to serve Him better, even as every selfish bone in my body balks…and I want to love Him more. I want more of Him. I’m lost otherwise.
But it’s not just that. I want to know Him more because He is so worth knowing. I want to know this amazing, all-powerful God of the universe who cares so deeply for little old me. I want to know the Father who loves me so much and has done so much for me. Why wouldn’t I want more of such a wonderful God?